I remember that as a kid I had ton of energy.

Always moving, always inventing games, stories, worlds.

Today they would call it ADHD. Back then, I was just… full of life.

But as I grew up, something changed.

I was longing for the same lighthearted, deep connection I had as a kid.
What I found instead was a world driven by performance and competition, where you have to be stronger, better, faster. Win… or feel like you don’t matter.

An endless striving for more. A “more” that felt empty and meaningless.

At some point, I couldn’t bare it anymore.

I was living a life that wasn’t mine. I remember thinking, “I don’t want to live like this. There must be another way to live.”

I didn’t know where to go or what I was looking for. But I knew I couldn’t stay.

So I left.

What followed were six years of journey of discovery. Exploring communities, eco-villages, alternative education, social entrepreneurship, the so-called 'conscious world'.

There was care, awareness, softness, big ideals, strong values, but often, I felt something was missing.

Conflict was avoided. The uncomfortable parts were softened, bypassed.

I was longing for something else.

A way to bridge conflict and care.

To confront, without disconnecting.

To be in my power, without hurting others or myself.

In short, to bring power and care together.

That search led me to become an emotional coach. Supporting people to connect with their emotions, not the polite version of them, but the raw, honest ones.

I felt closer than ever to my purpose.

And still, something was missing, and I needed to experience it in my own body to understand it.

A few month later. Portugal. A night full of stars.

It could have been the beginning of a romantic story.
But mine was different.

The person I loved was with someone else. Someone I deeply disliked.

My body tensed, heart pouding, thoughts went wild. Jealousy. Anger. Fear. Sadness. Shame.

All at once.

Years of inner work helped me recognize the pattern.

I was in survival mode. A full fight response.

I could barely hold myself back from acting on the violent images in my mind.
But inside, I was burning.

I needed conneciton. To feel I was not alone. To both feel safe, and to give space to the turmoil I was feeling. Not with words. I felt the need to move. To use my body.

I asked a close friend to hold me as tight as he could, but it wasn’t enough.

We started moving. Pushing. Wrestling.

I remember we went all in, and at the same time, we deeply cared for each other.

It was the first time in my life I could meet myself and another person with my full power, with the rawness of my emotions, while still caring enough not to hurt one another.

We went on until we were exhausted.
Lying there, breathing heavily.

something in me shifted.

Living my emotions through my body, with power and care, completely transformed my inner state.

I felt clear. Grounded. Centered.
Like never before.

No matter what was happening, I felt I owned myself.
And that felt powerful.

What followed that night felt almost impossible.

I could speak. Communicate. Express my needs clearly.
Me and my beloved shared one of the most honest and connecting moments of our relationship.

I even had a calm conversation with the man I struggled with.

I wasn’t lost in my drama anymore.
I was rooted in reality, instead of getting pulled into dramatic stories in my head.

All of this… from a moment of physical, caring confrontation.

That’s where Playfight was born.

Not as a method. But as an answer to a question I had been carrying for most of my life:

How can I be in my power while facing my inner storms, the people I love, and the challenges life brings…
without losing care and connection?